Welcome To The Black Parade by RayneTaraG Commentary Commentary
by RayneTaraG
Summary: she finks she can comment on ma sory? NO. THIS IS A COM OF A COM OF MA GRATE SORY!
1. Chapta 1- Welcome 2 Hogwarts Eternity!

imma start a com on her com. ha

bold is da grate sory. regular is her shit. underlined is ma commentary.

Hey, this is TheySeeMeTrolling! I'm obsessed with My Immortal and it's trolls. So I found this one, and I thought it was hilarious. So I decided to do a commentary! Luckily the chapters are short, so I can stomach it. Bold is RayneTaraG, normal is me.

I'm not a troll.

**this story is about Eternity Echo Pandora Agatha Shadow in hp no flamez if ur a prep or pser then fuk off! if u hte Tara then u fuk off 2!**

So no one can read the story?

yes ppl can red it lotsa ppl 3 Tara.

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**i went in2 hgwrts 4 da 1st time suicidally. i gt used 2 my dorm by slitting my wrists.**

That's not funny.

I didn't say it's funny just true.

**my clened up nd went 2 the grate hall.**

The walls, ceilings and floors were all made of grates. Those who did not use Wingardium Leviosa died.

Da fuk u sayin?

**"this is echo. dumbdore said. she is cming here frm an american schl in america. she is a 2nd yer"**

Welcome to the Department of Redundency department. And isn't it Eternity? And I thought it had sex in it... is she seriously 12?

dere's no department idit. an yea its eternity just a mistake. yea she's 12 duh.

**"obsly. i said."**

**i put on the sortng hat. it said slitherin i gt my assigned sit next 2 a blnde.**

Assigned seats?

yea ma fiend velvet sad dere r.

**"im draco malfoy. the goffik blonde said. u bttr nawt b a poser."**

Nawt is the preppiest way to say not.

dat's nawt true.

**"im Eternity Echo Pandora Agatha Shadow. im nt a poser or prep."**

**a prep came to our tble 2 tlk 2 me.**

**"im Harry Potter im in love with u will u mrry me? he said."**

**"no im dting draco!"**

**"wen did dat hppn? draco asked."**

Best line of the "sory"

?

**"since always duh."**

Duh.

yea duh.

**"ok." draco said since he was in love with me 2. "ur so hawt." drco said.**

**"i kno."**

**"**I'm not at all conceited." Bullshit.

she aint cocited i fink. depends wat dat means.

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**all 4 now i will update soon fellow goffiks just an intro review**


	2. Chapter 2- Da Goffik Bagal Shoppe

I'm already updating. Don't judge. Oh and don't own Harry Potter, Welcome To The Black Parade, or My Immortal. I just own the commentary. RayneTaraG only owns Welcome To The Black Parade. Luckily. Though we should probably confiscate the story.

IT'S MA SORY

**y aren't u reviewing!**

It's a waste of time, that's why. Though I guess I'm being a hypocrite.

NO IT'S NOT

**fangs (geddit) 2 my 2 bffs**

**dont flame da sory stupid preps**

Did they not review or did they flame.

BOAT

**YAY TARA I WANT 2 BE JUST LIKE TARA I EVEN SPELL LIK HER GOFFIK 4EVA**

Excuse my language, but you are fucked-up.

No you are.

* * *

**i walked in2 draco's dorm 2 tlk 2 him. we screwed.**

HAHAHA Oh my God.

Wats funny

**"dat was fun." i said.**

Translation: You suck in bed.

i didnt say dat

**"ya." harry suddenly came in and i covered myself up w/ the blanket cuz i was naked.**

**harry was wearing a black MCR t-shirt. he had blak panties and blak shoes. da shoes had blodstains on dem. he was wearing red contacts and black eyeliner. his hair was dyed black and his scar was changed in2 a pentagram (geddit lke in MI!)**

Oh. My. FUCKING God Harry wearing panties. Permanently in my mind. Thanks a lot Rayne.

its a fucking typo, calm ur tits.

**"harry wat r u doing here dis is da gurls dorm and we r busy!" i said.**

No, this is the boy's dorm.

no.

**"i bcame goffik 4 u. wanna screw now?"**

Is Harry some kind of man-whore?

no he's in luv w/ Eternity duh

**"no im not dat kind of gurl. get da hell outta here!" harry waked out sueisighdale**

It took me 10 minutes to decipher that, but I think it says suicidally. 10 minutes.

it obviously says suicidally ur an idit if dat took u 10 mins.

**"better now." draco said. we screwed again.**

Draco's a caveman.

no he's not dats stupid.

**"lets get burekfast." draco saidl.**

**"lets go to Da Goffik Bagal Shoppe." I suhgested.**

Seriously? A goffik bagel shop?

yea i eat dere every damn day

**"Sure." there were no empty tables so we took a seat next 2 a goffik gurl.**

**"im Eternity." I said.**

**"i kno u r so kuwl." she said. "im herman, but ill change it."**

Uhh... Do you mean Hermione? I'm not sure if I'd rather hope she actually thinks that or if it's an A Very Potter Musical reference.

huh?

**"ill change it 4 u herman." i said. "how about... DARK'NESS!"**

**"ya! im Dark'ness!" (geddit lik Tara."**


	3. Chapter 3- Dey R Demonic!

LONG AUTHORS NOTE:

no one givs a shit

I'm sorry I can't reply to your reviews and PMs but before I just reviewed anonymously and I made an account for this, though I'll probably write more stuff eventually. I'll respond to all reviews and PMs as soon as possible. Thanks for all the feedback! I've already got 4 reviews, 2 follows and 2 favorites! Yeah, apparently she already found it? The girl's damn obsessive,

no im nawt

I made it like 5 hours ago or something. She's being really bitchy about it and sending anyone who reviewed the story nasty PMs. I didn't review, just saying.

yea u idid u liyer

Okay, I'm done.

**DONT FLAME DA SORY PREPS1 FANGS 2 MY GOFFIK FRIENDS AND 2 DA GOOD REVIOWERS. DANKS 2 GOOGGLE TRANSLATE 4 DA HELP WITH LATIN.**

Warning, this chapter is really weird.

watnin: this gurls and idit.

* * *

**bye da next week i had made ma group of friends.**

**first was Dark'ness. she used to be named herman but she changed it. she killed her muggle parents cuz they werent her paents her parenmts were 2 werewerolves an herman killed the muggas cuz dey new but dey dindnt teller.**

Not more backstories.

dere will be more latea

**dere was also Ron aka Hades. we were very close and i liked his soullessness**

Ginger joke? Seriously? What if you have ginger readers, they'll be offended. What if they're goth AND ginger? They'll be super pissed.

its nawt a jok its tru dumbass

**also Hades' sis Gernney is now Amythest,**

**nevel is Tempest.**

**harry was still a totall poser every1 else couldnt believe they were friends wit him.**

**we were in middle of a satanist ritual.**

She says it so calmly.

i do it all da tim

**"Laudamus Satan. Da nobis virtute daemonum. Modo possumus imperare. Placere auxilium Faciamus Gothorum mundi. Nos regnabo." (AN: it means We worship Satan. Give us the power of demons. That way we can control. Please help us make the Gothic world. we shall reign. it's Latin)**

No, you used Google for help with Latin but I had no idea there would actually be Latin in it!

duh ur so dumb

**"Qui reget?" we heerd a big voice say. we all spoke Latin so we knew what he said. (AN: means who will rule?"**

**"Aeternitas fortium dominabitur." we all sad. (Eternity will rule)**

Letting a bitch like her rule the world is really depressing.

wat? no she aint a bich

**"Ego tibi dabo potestatem dæmonium." Satan said. (I will give you the power of the devil.)**

**We all felt weird as he gave us the same powers as he.**

**"Danks Satan!" I said. "Let's go kill preps!"**

Once again, so calm.

its nawt a big deal, satan.


	4. Chapter 4 HARRY ISNT A POSA

Ok this version is a little different, it has an extra sentence. She accidentally put it in a review, though how, I have no fucking idea. She's an idiot, I guess? Or maybe she wanted me to have it? She want's attention. Wow.

i dont need atenten fom u

**STOP FLAMING DA STORY GO MA IMMORTA**

**MCR ROX**

**DA TITLE HAS BEAN CHANGED 2 Welcome 2 Da Black Parade**

What was it before? Can someone tell me in a review?

it says so in da sumry idit

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**We went 2 da front of da buildang (geddit, dang) and i stood there. i did a spell and all da preps and posers died.**

**"YAY!1" WE SHOUTED. nOW wE CouLD GET ica CREA,M. More imporanly was dat Harry da poser wiyd staph boderin ma. we went inside and i gassssssssped.**

I had no idea preps could stop them from getting ice cream.

preps hat ica cream.

Is that some kind of "goffik" weakness? (It's like a whole other troll culture.) And how dare you say Harry leaving is more important than your friends getting ice cream? Selfish bitch.

it is.

Oh and Eternity is a snake.

****no shes a vampy wich

**It was... H._...-...-...-.-.-.-.-..A...-...-...-...-...-...R ...-...-...-...-...-...R...-...-...-...-...Y!11111 111111111111**

What is with the fucking hyphens?

dere 4 suspense

**HARRY DA POSER!**

I thought "da posas" were dead?

exaty

**(a good place ta stahp but ill continue cuz its short i want 2 plz ma goffik reviowers)**

WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP?! AND THERE IS NO "GOFFIK REVIOWERS"! NOT ANY THAT LIKE YOU, THAT IS!

yes dere r loa=ck.

**"i told u i warent a poser," Harry said. I hugged.**

**"YEA! U CAN BE DRACULA!"**

**"DRACULA FTW!" Dark'ness said.**

**"Should we kill all the preps and poseas or just da ones in hogwarts?" Tempest asked.**

**"Duhjust in hogwarts. If everyone is goffik no one is goffik." I said wisely.**

That... is kinda smart.

dank u

**"Ur rite." We went inside an saw a posta for a concert**

**"Pluz we need slaves."**

**"good point."**

Never mind.

waqt im still smart

**MCR GC EVINESCENE TREE DAYZ GRACE PARAMORE R AT HOGSMEADE IN 5 MINS the posta said.**

How does it say it's in 5 minutes?

its magic.

**"LETS GO**


	5. Chapter 5 da concer PAR 1

**We got ta hogsmeat in 2 mins, 3 mins earlay. I wasa waring ma blak eyelina and white foundaton w/ blooda lips. I was wearing (geedid wear-ring cuz u wear rings) a skull ring (C) black fishnets a MCR TDG GC Evincene Paramor tee. it was fom hot topic an made speciity for da concertiol. It was a wizad-only concert cuz all the bad members wer wxards. (haha i got 69 wirds)**

Multiple things here. First- IMMATURITY ALERT!

im nature

Second- I think she made one of those stupid puns with the spelling with correct spelling. No words.

no i speled it dif den de atal spellin

Third- How was a shirt made specially for a wizard concert in a muggle store?

sut a suepid q

**we litened 2 da muzic now cuz it took 3 mins to describer my grate cltioerhes.**

Even Rayne knows it takes too long to describes the clothes.

no.

**"YA YA GO DA BANDS!" Every1 cried sexily. Draco and I did it during da concert. so did tempest and dracula (rent b guys tota hawwwties)**

Uhh...

**"OH YEA OH YEA OH YEA OH YEA OH YEA"**

Who's saying that?

ecery1

**BREAK AWAY FOM EVERY1 da tree days grace guy said.**

It's everybody, dumbass.

no it aint.

And Tree Days Grace?

yea.

**"I CANT REMEMBER HIS NAME!" I SAID OVER da MuScdicf**

**"WHATEVS!" WE WERE HI**

So were you when you wrote this.


	6. Chapter 6- Da hollowen ball

Still can't answer reviews and PMs until about 12 (Eastern time). I'll try soon!

no 1 givs a shit

**no flames danks 2 ma goffik fiend Velvet 4 da betas**

This is beta'd? What? There's no way she's real.

yea she is she is ma bff

**(geddit lik danks 4 da venom, danks 4 da betas?)**

Stop it with the damn puns!

dey r grate puns.

**I luv yea (ew nawt like dat) even dough u like GC more dan MCR as long as u lik MCR its ok and Gerard is hot just so u kno readers. go ta chapta 3 for charter names.**

**MCR ROX STILL**

This suddenly just occurred to me, the last chapter was the Concert part 1, right? Where is part 2?

it is deleted content, ill giv it 2 ya as a bonus.

* * *

**we wer on ours way (geddit lik gerard way)**

That pun made the least sense. And that's saying something.

it maid sanse.

**bck 2 hme 4 da holloween nall. i was goin 2 go as a vamp (geddit cuz she really is a vvampy.) i added som queenly stuff cuz i was da queen of hell. ma date was draco who was dressed as demon prisinor. he a\was ma prisoner an he had da sexiest eva.**

The sexiest what? Now I'll never know.

chians.

**tempest was going with dracula. (arent bi guyszz so hawt)**

I feel like by saying that you are actually ridiculing gays whenever you or Tara says that. I really hate that.

no im not.

**tempest was slendaman an Dracula was ben drowned. (dey were boat creepaypaystats)**

HOW DARE YOU GET CREEPYPASTAS INVOLVED YOU-

**dark'ness and hades were going 2gedder.**

You interrupted me.

no i didnt

**dark'ness was a goffik kristeen and hades was fantom from da fatom of da oprah.**

NO NO NO! GOFFIK CHRISTINE! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! AND DID YOU SAY OPRAH!

yea i can.

**Ma fiend Velvet (dat is Velvet mafreind)**

No shit Sherlock.

**she was wit Amethest. dey were both bi duh. velvet was emealy fom da copse bfide. amethest was sally from das nightmare B4 chistmassssss**

Again with the snake thing!

**we wet int2a da ball roo**

**hello google sad. "welcum 2 da (blak parad) blal go dance now BITCHES!"**

That is officially a quote.

**we danced an den voldy came**

**gasp**

Is that supposed to be a cliffhanger?

it is


	7. Chapter 7 lucifur

**no flamez i didnt read da books or watch da moviews i jut read ma immorta**

You... you... YOU DID WHAT?! I mean, I figured she didn't read the books, based on her literature skills, but not even the movies? Just the fanfiction? Well, at least that limits the characters you can use...

This explains everything.

wat da fuk u taking bout.

* * *

**"r u gonna kill us?" Velvet asked.**

**"no y da fuck wuld i do dat? i am goffik 2 an i want 2 join u guyz pluz i herd dere r no peps or posas in hwarts so me and ma deat deelers fot we shuld stay ere."**

Voldemort is a good guy? No, it'd be more accurate to say everyone's a bad guy.

yea dey r SATANISTST DUH

**"u gotta get a cooler name dough." i sad.**

**"wat do u men i got da coolest name eva!" voldy said.**

You can't just insult Volemort's name, it's much more original than the names you come up with. And Voldy? Really?

yeah dey ru on good terms.

**"it aint goffik so u wiLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... LUCIFER!"**

Like I said, that's not very original. What's next Lillith? Ruby? Not exactly goth, but they are demons. (Supernatural)

wat is dat?

**"OMFG UR RITE." Lucifur said. "DAT IS DA CooLEST NAME eVA!" LICIFER an lucian starred dancing wen...**

**dDAT Suepid (geddut like mary sue WHICH ETERNITY IS NAWT)**

Don't lie to me like that again! Everyone know's she's a Mary Sue.

NO SHE IS NAWT!

**Fudge guy came. and he didnt even have anny fuckin fudge**

I have to admit, that was my biggest problem with Fudge too.

**"fuk off fudge u dodnt even got cfusdge. ur a hipohcrite." luci killecd wem**

How is he a hypocrite for not bringing chocolate? And is Luci Lucifer/Voldemort?

i don member, mighta been lucius.

**"YEAH!" SWE DAMCED/**


	8. OUTAGE

Yes, I'm doing this. I thought it would be fun.

**SOMEONE MADE A MEANIE**

Meanie? Are you five?

im in ma 18

**COMMENTARY BOUT MY STORYE! WAT DA FUK! EVERY1 GO FLAM HER DA LIK IS ON MA PAG AN HERE**

I'd like to point out that no one's flamed me, unless you count when Rayne reviewed. Perhaps because no one likes the story?

EVERYONE LIKES MA SORY

**www. fanfiction s/ 9617465/ 1/ Welcome-To-The-Black-Parade-by-RayneTaraG-Commenta ry**

**JUST TAKE OUT DA DAMN SPACES BITCHES**

RUDE!


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